Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
