You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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