the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
