This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
