ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
