I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
