I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Enjoy the penises
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
