Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
