girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
nutella sex= disaster
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
