Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
vagina is talking i cant
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
