why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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