plz talk dirty to me
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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