I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
