Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
