I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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