Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
