i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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