yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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