I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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