If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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