This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
