Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize