worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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