oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
