Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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