Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
