At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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