Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't think brook has ever known best
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
