Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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