Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize