It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
