I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
