apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
