Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
