we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
