What a fucking waste of an outfit
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Are my feet made of real feet?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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