So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
