Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
