His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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