using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize