I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
