4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
