then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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