the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
