He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
