Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
