I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize