dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
