'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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