I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
