So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
