what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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