i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
