I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
