I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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