I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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