dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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