Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
